Motorists constantly look at their rear view mirror as they are driving. Whenever they want to overtake or take a turn, they look at their rear view mirror. If they don’t, the outcome may be disastrous.
Not too long ago, I was driving along one of the busiest roads in Zimbabwe and as I was about to change lanes, I looked at my side view mirror…All clear! I was good to go but my instincts told me to also check my blind spot and in that very instant, as a leaned back to do so, a car drove past me at lightning speed. I frantically told a colleague of mine who was on the passengers side that had it not been for my gut; that “sixth sense” which told me to check my blind spot, we would have probably been involved in a car crash.
What am I trying to say? Sometimes you will look behind you and you will think the past is out of your way but if you don’t take the time to listen to your gut and DEAL with your PAST, you will do all that is necessary to move forward and think you are ready. The moment you take the first step forward, something from your past in your proverbial “blind spot” will come out of nowhere and HIT YOU HARD and the end result is PAIN!
Let’s bring it closer home…
A lot of people find it difficult to navigate through the waters of life when they reflect on their past disappointments & failures. It could be a failed relationship, a relationship that never materialised when you tried your level best, not performing in a specific job position, failing to fulfill certain expectations you have set for yourself in your marriage or failing to find happiness. Past failures can be daunting especially when they stifle your growth as an individual. The good news is that knowledge and acceptance of the past can help us move forward. Knowledge of the past can help you to understand YOU in ways you never deemed possible.
Acknowledge your Blind spot
In everyone’s history file, there is often something in there about YOU that you may never know existed. For instance someone maybe a serial dater or a drug abuser because of something that happened in their past which they didn’t even know existed. A person can also be unable to keep a relationship going because of something in their blind spot they never saw or recognized before. The problem with not being in tune with your feelings and not acknowledging your faults is that they always catch up with you.
Well if you are failing to forget something from your past – you know better what area you are struggling with – try utilising a journal and write down what your mind is telling you about your past. Talking to your partner, Therapist, Spiritual leader or Pastor may be of great help too. The key is to acknowledge what you didn’t know existed and process it so that you truly understand it and equip yourself to deal with it. When you then learn from it, you undoubtedly become stronger and wiser. Be warned however that the process won’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself during this process but acknowledgement is the first step.
Your past is not an inheritance
So your past 3 relationships failed after you gave your all? Terrible thoughts like you are no good and there is something wrong with you may swarm you mind. In most cases, the negative things about you that you tell yourself are a mirror reflection of what you think about yourself and not necessarily who you are. There are instances YES, where you actively recognise that you had a role to play in failed attempts at love, work or anything else in your life. That introspection is good if it is constructive and it in fact compels you you to try again instead of crippling you. Some may worry about generational curses, which do EXIST but the power of breaking free also lies with what you tell yourself about you with God as the ultimate guide. He will lead you into a destiny that is free from prostitution, polygamy, adultery and, and, and…..
Let your past empower YOU
If things didn’t work out the way you pictured, now YOU can do things Bigger and Better. Your past no matter how good or bad, should be used as a learning aide in order to create a stronger YOU that is equipped to deal with diverse issues that will help YOU adjust your sails as and when the winds blow.
It really ends up being about YOU doesn’t it…so shift your perspective.
Remember-Your past does not define YOU-YOU define YOU.
Your Past is not a plague you cannot break from…it only has as much power over your life as YOU give it.
Your past cannot and will not DERAIL what God has intended.
You are strong and you are powerful. Nobody and nothing from your past can keep you from attaining your destiny.
We all have a role to play in forgiving ourselves for our past failures. Our scars remain but only to remind us of how far we have come.